Being pregnant. Knocked up. Expecting. With child. Or as my brother likes to say: having a bun in the oven. However you say it, it all translates to one thing - 9 months (give or take) of carrying around another human being inside your belly. And as most women will tell you, it's easier said than done. While no two pregnancies are exactly alike, every expectant mother can agree that there are both pros and cons associated with this crazy miracle of bringing a child into this world. While I am no expert, I thought I'd share a few of my favorites (or not so favorites) with you.
Cons
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Gas. Yes that kind of gas. I won't bore you (or gross you out) with the details of why this unattractive bodily function takes on a life of its own during pregnancy, but the fact of the matter is it does and there's nothing you can do about it. I just think of it as payback for the years of misery my husband has put me through.
• Advice. This is a pro and a con. While some advice can be helpful, a lot of it is superfluous and unprovoked. Sorry but I do not want to hear your suggestions for baby names, how your skin glowed for 9 months straight (see below), and why you're a proponent for epidural anesthesia.
• Cravings. Everyone is different. I've heard vegetarians who craved steaks and burgers, women who ate peanut butter straight from the jar by the spoonful, and the always popular pickles and ice cream. For me, it's sweets. Cookies, brownies, pie, cake- if it has sugar in it, I want it. While some people will tell you to give in to your cravings and eat as much as you want during your pregnancy, the truth is that it's not healthy - for you or the baby. Maybe in my next pregnancy I'll crave spinach and wheat germ sandwiches...
• Hair. And I don't mean the stuff on your head. During these 9 months, hair starts popping up everywhere from your belly to your face. Apparently it goes away after the baby is born, but it can still be pretty annoying, not to mention embarrassing, in the meantime.
• Acne. Some women are lucky enough to have radiant skin during their pregnancy. For me, my skin resorted back to 9th grade. All of the sudden I was dealing with breakouts and inflammation on a regular basis. This has been, by far, the most frustrating symptom for me to deal with.
• Peeing. Whether its waking up in the middle of the night to go or constantly hitting the bathroom throughout the day, it's nonstop. And there's no relief.
• The First Trimester. I left this one for last because it's by far the worst and encompasses so many uncomfortable and miserable symptoms into 3 lousy months. Nausea, morning sickness, sore boobs, food aversions, and constant exhaustion. Not to mention the depressing realization that you won't be able to enjoy a beer for the next year or so. All I have to say is thank goodness for the pros...
Pros
• Everyone is nice to you. I don't know what it is about a baby bump, but it brings out the good Samaritan in everyone. Whether it's your coworkers, the checkout people at the store, or perfect strangers on the street, everyone wants to offer their congratulations and best wishes. And there is always someone willing to help you carry your items or open the door for you. I'm taking advantage of this while I still can because I have never seen someone rush to the aid of a screaming infant.
• Advice. I'm not the first person to be pregnant and I certainly won't be the last. Fortunately that means I have a lot of friends, coworkers, and family members who also happen to be mothers who have some friendly advice to offer up. And it's always good to have a trusted resource at your disposal.
• No more Aunt Flow. Definitely one of the best things about being pregnant: a 9 month hiatus from your monthly friend. Need I say more?
• Health. When you're eating for two, you become very conscientious about what you're putting into your body. You make sure you eat your fruits and vegetables. You take a prenatal vitamin. You stop drinking tap water. You cut out foods that have any potential to harm your child. You stop drinking alcohol. Generally you're not putting a lot of crap into your body, and as a result you tend to feel better, have more energy, and be healthier overall. That is until the cravings kick in (see above).
• Boobs. Yup your boobs get bigger. And unless you started off as a D, you tend to enjoy them. And so does your husband.
• Free Pass. I hate to admit it, but playing the pregnancy card can get you out of a lot of things: being late for work, cleaning the house, carrying the luggage through the airport, even a speeding ticket (or in my case, a ticket for parking in a fire lane at the grocery store). While some of these are warranted (you probably shouldn't be breathing in those toxic fumes while you scrub the toilet), some are just extra perks.
• Having a child. Well here is the obvious one. After 9 months, you actually have something to show for all your hard work and sacrifice. A beautiful little baby to call your own. And that was the point of all this after all right?
